I have no idea what that blogging title means, but my dog just died, so I guess I'm not here to make sense, just to talk about what a great dog she was. And is, because I have no doubt, although I doubt everything like most people worth their salt, that she is somewhere in Doggie Heaven. A great place full of milk bones, cats, mailmen (to sink your doggie teeth into, naturally), and lots of hamburger bushes. Ah, hell, it's heaven, so let's make it steak! Steak bushes, full of tasty cuts of filet mignon.

My dog was a beautiful golden retriever who was thirteen years old when she popped her cork. Kicked the bucket, died, passed away, bit the big one. However you want to put it. I absolutely adored her and she was my only consolation in a house full of really fucked-up people. She was sweet and loving and kind and I loved petting her. She was a character. A strong-willed character who liked to bark ferociously at other dogs, who loved to beg for ice and oranges, and who had a lot of love in her heart. She was full of joy and she was always smiling. One time I brought her sledding and she walked around the parking lot eating ice. Then she spied me at the top of the hill and got very still, then came charging up the hill. I guess she wanted to protect me from myself. I went down the hill (whoosh!) and she followed. She did this every time I went sledding. We had a great time. She also loved to go for rides in the car and I loved the way her face looked when the wind hit it. She looked so peaceful and happy. She was a great, great dog and I will forever miss her. People laugh at pet lovers I guess, but the truth is, the loss of a pet is devastating. Animals have much to teach people, and I think they have far more love and faith than most humans. My dog taught me a lot.

I miss you, sweetheart. Love, your mistress.